Thought for the day

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who as the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. [Theodore Roosevelt]

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Say What?

Carolina Chocolate Drops and Luminescent Orchestrii: "Short Dress Gal"

Don't know if you know the Carolina Chocolate Drops or not but if you do not then you need to hear them.  They are a black group from North Carolina that mostly play a lot of old music, pre-dating what is known as country music.  This is a different sound but still good.

Cruel and Unusual

Two prisoners, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.

The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play "The Macarena" for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "KILL ME FIRST."

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Drunks Can Be Funny Too

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:
  • A half-gallon of 2% milk
  • A carton of eggs
  • A quart of orange juice
  • A head of lettuce
  • A 2 lb. can of coffee
  • A 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ‘You must be single.’
She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status..
Curiosity getting the better of her, so she said, ‘Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?’
The drunk replied, ‘Cause you’re ugly.

I Think This Might Be Wrong


Ever notice how
its the countries
with the least bacon
that are always rioting?


Charlie Callas

Charlie Callas was one of the funniest men I ever saw on TV. He passed away last week at age 83.

After a stint in the US Army in World War II, Callas was a Big Band drummer, playing in the Tommy Dorsey orchestra, among others. "I was always clowning around when I was a musician," he recalled later. "They said I played 'funny drums' and should become a comedian." In the 1960s he did, and became known for his rubber face and self-made sound effects. The scrawny comic was a regular on The Merv Griffin Show, Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, and the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. Mel Brooks called him "a cast of thousands all by himself. He could do a thousand faces, a thousand voices and a thousand sound effects. In 'High Anxiety' he played a cocker spaniel. He cost me a lot of money: it was almost impossible to finish a scene without the whole crew collapsing in laughter."


Go Ahead, I Dare You

I'll bet you looked at the keyboard, didn't you?  Yeah you did...

Sometimes They Write Themselves

Continuing Education

Winter Classes for Women at

By Mon., February 28, 2011


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to   Parallel Park  In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined  

Class 12
How to Pee by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.