Thought for the day

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who as the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. [Theodore Roosevelt]

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Drunks Can Be Funny Too

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:
  • A half-gallon of 2% milk
  • A carton of eggs
  • A quart of orange juice
  • A head of lettuce
  • A 2 lb. can of coffee
  • A 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ‘You must be single.’
She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status..
Curiosity getting the better of her, so she said, ‘Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?’
The drunk replied, ‘Cause you’re ugly.
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