Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Republican or Democrat?
I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States . Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.
"Wow...what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
via
"Wow...what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
via
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Little Jimmy Dickens - Another Bridge To Burn
Whether you like country music or not you have to appreciate an entertainer who is still performing at age 90. This was about 5 years ago.
Ten Rules of Life
These may sound funny, but they're quite true....
1. Never give yourself a haircut when drinking.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.
3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately -- it's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
5. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"
6. If they say you are too good for him/her, believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? One month? One week? One day?"
8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
9. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship may mean the other person was right about you.
10. You can't demand something as a "right" unless you are willing to fight to death to defend everyone else's right to the same thing.
via
1. Never give yourself a haircut when drinking.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.
3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately -- it's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
5. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"
6. If they say you are too good for him/her, believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? One month? One week? One day?"
8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
9. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship may mean the other person was right about you.
10. You can't demand something as a "right" unless you are willing to fight to death to defend everyone else's right to the same thing.
via
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
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